Editor’s Note: The author’s name, a refugee in Spain, is being withheld to respect her privacy and protect her family members, who are dispersed in South and Central Asia. We have communicated with the author and are pleased to publish her inspiring and moving account of her Didar with Mawlana Hazar Imam. She attended the Didar with the Jamat of Portugal and Spain on Wednesday, December 3, 2025, and with the youth of both countries the following morning, Thursday, December 4. Her resilience and courage, highlighted by her family’s widespread dispersal, are remarkable. Her piece emphasizes the importance of shared stories that strengthen our community bonds and sense of purpose.

Letter from Spain: My Didar of Mawlana Hazar Imam in Lisbon

I received the news of the Didar of Mawlana Hazar Imam Shah Rahim al Hussaini twenty days earlier. It felt like a morning breeze carrying a long-held, unreachable wish. When I first heard that the Didar would take place from the 1st to the 4th, my heart began to shiver with happiness. Yet, at the same time, a weight of sorrow settled in my chest. I feared that I might not be able to go — that the wish I had carried throughout my life would never come true — because I am a refugee in Spain, awaiting the final documents confirming my refugee status.

With all the “yeses” and “nos” circling in my mind, and despite all the limitations around me, a small flame of hope kept whispering in my heart: You must go… You have to try. You deserve for this dream to come true.

Following that hope, I spoke with my social worker and case lawyer. I explained the value of this visit and described how deeply it mattered to me, both mentally and personally. But their response was subdued. They warned it could jeopardize my refugee case.

Yet I knew that if I did not make it to this Didar, I might lose a part of myself forever — a part that could never be found again. I accepted the risk because this was not just a journey. It was a symbol of my resilience and hope. It made me feel as though my soul was being protected. I decided to set out on the journey I had been waiting for my entire life, trusting that faith and perseverance would guide me through.

On Monday morning, the 1st of December — the Didar by now had been confirmed for the 3rd with the Jamat and on the 4th with the youth — I took a chance and rode to Lisbon. I prayed silently: Dear Allah, please make my path into this Didar easy… I want to reach without any trouble. By Allah’s grace, I entered Portugal without any problems, and waves of joy began moving through my heart.

That night, and the night before visiting Mawlana Hazar Imam, I could not sleep at all. I kept thinking: I am going to meet someone who has known me for so long, who loves me, who cares for me, who is my Imam, and who is like a father to me.

The arrival of morning felt like the arrival of light into the darkest corners of my heart. I counted every moment, feeling deeply grateful for the bond I had with the Imam, wondering whether I was dreaming or awake. In my 24 years of life, this was my first time visiting the Hazar Imam of the Ismaili community, and it felt almost unbelievable. Suddenly, I heard “اللهم صلّی علی محمد و آل محمد”…. Allahumm-a Sall-i ‘Ala Muhammad-in Wa Al-i Muhammad…. My eyes were already open, yet I tried to open them wider — to see more, hear more, feel more.

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“From where will he enter?” I whispered with a trembling voice. And then, in that very moment, my eyes caught sight of Hazar Imam. A wave of emotion washed over me — my heart grew heavy, my throat dried, and tears began falling from the corners of my eyes. With my hand on my heart, I kept watching him, overwhelmed by a mix of awe and longing.

For a moment, my heart spoke words that had been silent for years — words filled with sorrow, loneliness, and the hardships of being a refugee. With every step Hazar Imam took, my heart repeated those words, tears streaming down my face. I whispered, Why have I come so late to see you? Why could I not attend this Didar with my family? Why have we been shattered?

Although I felt immense happiness at reaching this Didar and seeing the luminous face of Hazar Imam, a heaviness lingered in my heart. In this sacred moment, my elation from finally arriving was met by loneliness. The joy of connection stood beside the ache of separation from my family and memories of enduring many hardships. These two emotions, happiness and pain, moved together within me.

Meeting Hazar Imam was a transformative spiritual experience that marked a turning point in my faith journey. I felt his presence, hearing every word in my heart and sensing each of my steps. From that moment, I no longer remained the weak and broken version of myself. A new hope has blossomed within me, and a new strength has settled in my heart.

As I write this piece, I feel like the luckiest person on earth. I feel light and relieved, no longer weighed down. All the helplessness and weakness that overshadowed me for years have disappeared. This is the light of Imamat. From the moment I saw Imam Hazir, Shah Rahim al Hussaini, and spoke to him with my broken heart, I found the peace I had been missing for years. Now, I feel like a blessed and spiritually renewed child.

Fortunately, as a young member of the Jamat, I had the opportunity to attend another Didar the next morning, Thursday, December 4. This Didar was in the intimate setting of the Darkhana Jamatkhana at the Ismaili Centre Lisbon. The previous day’s Didar was attended by around 3,000 members from Portugal and Spain. It was held at FIL — Feira Internacional de Lisboa, in Parque das Nações. I was informed it was the venue of the Diamond Jubilee celebrations of Mawlana Shah Karim in July 2018.

Now I was already in Lisbon. I had had my first beautiful Didar, which filled me with (spiritual) happiness I cannot truly express in words. I was going to be in Mawlana Imam Hazar Imam’s presence, to see him in person once again and to listen to his loving words that always bring peace to my heart.

We left the hotel at 7:30 in the morning. With every step I took toward the venue, I felt joy slowly flooding my heart, like a calm yet powerful wave. I had prepared myself with care, wanting to be worthy of such a special moment.

But just when everything seemed perfect, something unexpected happened. I didn’t have the special card for the second day. They had told me earlier that the same card from the first day would be enough. Still, they refused to let me enter. My heart sank. I thought I might miss the second moment, surrounded by Hazar Imam’s young spiritual children, I had been waiting for.

They asked me to wait on the side while they decided. Every second felt incredibly long. I watched other young people walk in, smiling, while I stood outside. I was caught between hope and disappointment. I could feel my heartbeat slowing down, as if giving up…

After about twenty minutes, someone came and told me I could go inside. At that moment, it felt like I could breathe again. I stepped in, full of emotion. I was almost the last person to arrive, but my heart was overflowing with gratitude… truly grateful.

Not long after, Hazar Imam walked into the Jamatkhana hall. I instinctively straightened up, as if my whole being wanted to welcome him with love and respect. He looked at the youth with warm energy and a loving fatherly smile. I felt something new growing inside me.

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When he began to speak, his words glowed with faith, hope, learning, respect, and strength. I promised myself I wouldn’t just listen — I would live those words. Like millions around the world, I will listen again as Mawlana Hazar Imam’s Farmans are read out in Jamatkhanas and distributed as printed booklets.

I was going through one of the most challenging moments of my life, feeling lost until his words felt like fresh air filling my lungs again. At first, I was overwhelmed by despair, but his encouragement brought back my desire to live and to fight for a better tomorrow. It felt as if a hand of light lifted me from darkness and whispered: It’s not over… There is always hope. The two days of Didar became the most memorable and happiest days of my life, and I will cherish the experience for the rest of my life.

Date posted: December 9, 2025

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